Thanks, it's mostly just me taking advantage of the character being a total cypher in canon anyways.
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Loved it. Good blueprint that covers a beginning (while you noted to flesh out the backstory further too), middle, possible routes, and end. Definitely more legit "story" than my fanfics haha. And the [...]
I'm sorting out the fight scene bit by combining the earlier bit with the tentacles into the Meiouki introduction, and giving him a few attacks with the Muramasa sword he already found. That way the fic isn't much longer than it was already.
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So the biggest obstacle I'm running into is finding a natural place for Oboro/Momohime's backstory to come up. It seems weird to introduce it to the reader at the start when the character herself has no idea about, and having her exposit it when she gets her memories back after Meiouki takes the part of her spirit causing the mental block (aka the rare instance of someone having their brains fucked in) also feels like it would be jarring, since I can't imagine rape demons care much about the personal tragedy of their victims.
But he does have to learn at some point, because knowing about Momohime's past is how he'd learn about her sister Torahime, who was another powerful shrine maiden before dying, which would inspire him to recapture Kikua and Ouka to use them to summon Torahime from the afterlife as another powerful slave.
Update: I think I found a way to include these elements semi-gracefully.
Noticing that my default editing technique is to take a paragraph I already wrote and reposition it so I don't have to add that many more words.
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I have updated my draft in the first post to the one I intend to make the first of four chapters (other chapters will likely be shorter. They might fit together as a second chapter, but right now I like the "victim per chapter" setup)
It is too late for me to give it a proper read through, and I'll be too busy tomorrow to get back to it for final editing just yet, so I'm putting it here to give you all the opportunity to check it out (plus I like your opinions and criticisms).
If you are wondering where the epilogue chunk went, it still exists, it's just been shunted off into a future chapter and it'll be rewritten to fit the expanded plot.
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Aaaand first chapter done!
Link here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/88674541/chapters/235284001
Don't know how long it'll be before I get to the other chapters, but at least the fic is locked in past the one month deadline for posting something.
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Honestly, I'm curious about something I've been noticing - the character names. Didn't really say anything here previously, but I've never seen these spellings "Meiouki" and "Kikua" before? For the demon I think I've only ever seen Meioki, and the other I've seen Kikuka and Kikka. Just wondered, since right now our two current fics tag the twins differently.
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That...is definitely a mistake on my part
Be back in a bit.
Update: All done, names changed
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I was confused too, but this series is known to change up some spellings within itself so I wasn't going to judge. Even "Inyouchuu" is different across the many years of official merchandise I own. lol
Inyouchuu
InnYouChu
Inyochu
etc.
Now I'm trying to decide what's better between Mushijuro and Mujyuurou. "Mushi" fits closer to bugs I'm pretty sure...
![[Image: qw4yt6.jpg]](https://inyouchuuverse.net/images/qw4yt6.jpg)
Inyouchuu Lover since ~2005~
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